This blog will be about living with a depression and fighting the battle against it.
Why start this blog?
For years, depression and other mental problems and diseases have been surrounded by a stigma. It's not a real disease. It's just a phase. It's nothing a little laugh can't fix. You just need to pull yourself together. Get a grip. Stop whining. You don't even seem a little bit sad.
If I had a penny for every time I heard those things, I'd be... Well, not rich, but I definitely wouldn't be poor. So many people don't understand what it's like.
They don't know what it's like having to drop out of school because even getting out of bed in the morning or picking up the phone is a challenge. They don't know what it's like not being able to hold the job you actually like because you suddenly hit a rough patch and only leave your bed to go to the bathroom. Even remembering to shower is a challenge. You escape into your own world where everything seems like a big black hole.
I got my first depression in high school, but made it out on the other side. November 2010 I was diagnosed for the second time, and since then it has been going downhill. It has cost me jobs and lots of energy. I deal with negative thoughts on a daily basis.
Thankfully I have the most amazing family and friends who keep me going. I know I'm lucky like that. Some people don't have that support. Still, it's never easy.
I don't cry constantly. I don't act out much more than a 'normal' person would.
I do have problems concentrating though. I find it hard to look on the brighter side of things. The smallest things can throw me out of the loop. I can't remember the last time I felt truly happy.
I hope someone will come across this blog and like what they see. I'm not here to whine about how hard it is. I'm here to try to inspire others with similar problems and give them just a sliver of hope that life will, eventually, get better, and that they are not alone with their problems.